we made out on top of his cat.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
