You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
