WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
