No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
