Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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