it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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