3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize