Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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