dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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