So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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