You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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