even my farts smell like vagina
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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