Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
