You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize