Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
