im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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