dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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