yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
