a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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