Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize
