Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
