I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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