Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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