i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
