why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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