I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
