All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
