His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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