You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
