where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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