I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize