Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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