ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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