Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
