i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
50% drunk capacity currently
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
as a side note pls kill me
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
