i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
