The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
