I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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