Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Randomize
