In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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