I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
