So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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