I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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