She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
