at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
