apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and she was petting her beer can
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
