You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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