I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
