I'm so fucking centered right now
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
