it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
