There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
