just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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