when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
