I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
