I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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