I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
