dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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