Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
