Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
