i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize